O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
