Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
