non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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