Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
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