i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
