wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
