Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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