Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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