OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
