I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
