loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
