i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
