i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Randomize