I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Panties = found
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
