is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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