K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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