Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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