I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
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I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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