Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
