Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize