I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I have peed in a lot of sinks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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