Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
