Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
