Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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