mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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