Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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