I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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