Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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