k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
