so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
