we have officially mastered the walk of shame
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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