high people should be assigned attendants
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize