yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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