The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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