I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize