Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
