She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
