Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
