I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
