Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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