he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I understand Curling. That high.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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