Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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