Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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