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I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
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