im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
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drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?