You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
