Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this