end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.