I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.