Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Randomize
