I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
