Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
