"it" just moved
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
