whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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