I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
no you cant smoke seaweed
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
