Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
