chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
