the condom got lost in my hair
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
