Swine flu. Run for my life!
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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