its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
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You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid