I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.