god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED