Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk