i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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