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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  so I ended up banging her last night

  (1-414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i don't even remember

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.

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• (575): View more from New Mexico

  You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.

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• (310): View more from California

  Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?

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• (619): View more from California

  Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.

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