I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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