so that wasnt chicken after all
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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