4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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