My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Randomize