sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Randomize
