2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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