the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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