Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
