we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize