i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
